


A Typical Dinner

by EarthmanNoEarth



Category: Paul shapera - Fandom
Genre: And it’s a shitpost of a fic, I made this while I was tired, so it’s probably not very good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29748573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarthmanNoEarth/pseuds/EarthmanNoEarth
Summary: Michael and Jill go to Lloyd and Raven’s house for a normal dinner
Kudos: 2





	A Typical Dinner

After a day of making cards with the Floozies, Jill and Michael headed over to Lloyd and Raven’s house for dinner. In the dining room, Lloyd was propped up at the table with a fork and knife balanced on his arms. “Oh boy, oh boy,” he sensed their entrance but did not turn to face them, “I’m so glad you came, friends!” 

“Er, no problem,” Michael pulled out a chair and sat down, dipping his head to avoid the low-hanging banner above the table, “So, uh, how was your day?” 

“Oh it was just lovely! Han came over for tea and then we went to the New Albion narrative and had a lovely lunch at the Shopogopolis! Well, I assume it was lovely. It’s not like I could’ve eaten it,” he chuckled heartily. “Ravey accidentally left me in the food court for a few minutes and I got stuck in a clothing store for a bit, but they managed to find me and then we headed over to the Singularity to get an update on how my new body’s going. Han gave me a delightful crystal necklace she and Shira found in a mole person narrative. I was absolutely chuffed to bits!” 

“Well that just sounds delightful,” Michael glanced around, noticing more balloons than he remembered Lloyd and Raven having. 

Before Michael could compliment their new decorations, Raven emerged from the kitchen carrying a cake slathered in chocolate frosting. He beamed as he set the cake down in the center, “I know we won’t be having dessert until later but I just wanted to show off the cake I made!” 

Jill, who had been thumbing through one of Lloyd’s books, glanced up, “Why’d you make a cake?” 

At that exact moment, Asha entered through the front door. Overhearing the question, she chuckled, “It’s Lloyd’s birthday, obviously! Did you forget or something?” 

Jill and Michael traded an awkward glance, and Michael answered with wavering confidence, “No, of course not.” 

Asha’s eyes narrowed as she scanned the scene, “Did you bring presents?”

Michael’s mind rocketed through the number of possible outcomes this scenario could have. Thinking quickly and with intense precision, he reached into his pocket. Jill saw this and did the same. Rummaging through his coat as fast as he could, Michael grasped for something, anything, “Well, uh, you see, I brought him some….lint!” He pulled a baseball sized handful of lint out of his coat pocket. Having never washed his coat, there was plenty to go around. 

Doing the same, Jill pulled something shiny out of her pocket, “Happy birthday, Lloyd! I got you the Hope Diamond!” 

“Why are you carrying that around with you?”

“In case I attend any surprise birthday parties?” 

“This wasn’t a surprise party…?” Raven spoke up. 

“Didn’t you guys spend the entire day making birthday cards with the Floozies?” Asha facepalmed. 

Jill snapped her fingers, “So that’s what those cards were for.” 

“Wait did you guys not know it was my birthday?” Shaken by this revelation, Lloyd began to quiver. 

Michael and Jill briefly made eye contact, and everything began to move in slow motion, Jill yelled a spell that made the lights go out before booking it for the door, throwing it open, and running outside. Michael grabbed the chocolate cake, lifted it off the tray, and slammed it into Lloyd’s face. Staring into the mannequin’s blank yet baffled expression only briefly, he ran outside as well. 

Asha shook her head, “So how long until we do this again?” 

Sitting still so that Raven could wipe the chocolate cake off, Lloyd shook off his overjoyed persona, “Oh let’s give it ten or so days. They’ll have forgotten it was my ‘birthday’ ten days ago by then.” 

Raven snatched the massive Diamond necklace Jill had left, “It’ll be worth it for sure. How did Jill get so many of these diamonds?” 

Asha grabbed the diamond and headed out the door, “I’ll go take this to the jeweler floozy to see how much it’s worth. One day we’ll scam Jill out of ALL her surprise birthday diamonds.” 

Once Asha was gone, Lloyd sighed, “There has to be a way to do this that doesn’t involve having cake slammed in my face.”


End file.
